Are you seeking a different kind of rest?
You do not need to earn rest…
You do not need to fix yourself to deserve it…
Rest is your birthright…
Rest is what one returns to when we let go of all the masks and roles we have gathered over this lifetime. It is what we need to do to have an opportunity to connect with that quiet place deep inside; that place we know is true and whole.
This year I chose to take some time out from the busy-ness of life; one on retreat and the other celebrating significant birthdays with family by the river. Both have been beautiful experiences, each offering a different interplay with my capacity for rest.
When we head away with family it is rest of sorts, yet it is one that needs planning, coordination and doing, always keeping one foot in front of the other and always being conscious of how others are going. It’s great and I love it.❤️ Family is such a gift for me and there is nothing better than laughing and spending time together, yet there is something special when we take time out just for ourselves. When there is nothing more to do than to be cared for by others, to nurture our self and be able to drop out of all those things that, beg, steal, and borrow our time and our attention.
After having this chance to practice what I often recommend to my students I have had some time to reflect on the the following three questions…..What is rest? How do we cultivate the space to rest? and What does it mean to quieten the mind so we can rest deeply?
What is rest?
When we look at rest it is so much more than just stopping, catching up on sleep, watching TV, reading, or not doing anything at all.
A point for my own reflection here is that with all the things, which we consider as rest we continually actively engage our minds in the outer world.
When we truly rest it becomes an opportunity to cultivate stillness and begin to connect more intimately with our inner world. It is fundamentally a process of spending time by your self with your self, a process of allowing the body and mind to let go of effort, tension, and striving.
When we consciously allow space to rest our whole system has a chance to let go, to heal, and to integrate some of the fragmented pieces of our self. It is an opportunity for the mind to find clarity.
How can we rest?
We can begin to access that place of rest in many different ways, by considering the different aspects of who we are; through our physical body, through our mind and emotions and our spiritual connections. Rest touches all of the layers of who we are. A great place to start might be;
The Physical: Lying down, sleeping, relaxing your muscles.
The Mental: Taking a break from thinking, planning, solving.
The Emotional: Letting yourself feel without judgment or resistance.
The Spiritual: Reconnecting with something greater than yourself, or with your inner essence.
What does it take to quieten the mind?
Our mind does what it does best; it thinks, the very thing it is designed to do!
Quietening the mind means to reduce the mental chatter, that ongoing stream of thoughts, judgments, worries, and planning, and to arrive in a place where there is less noise in our head, and where more clarity is present. Cultivating a quieter mind for deeper rest is about understanding the mind and our own habitual patterns of thinking, and then giving it something else to attach to. This does not mean stopping our thoughts as this is an onerous task, we aim to gently and lovingly begin to understand our self.
It is always a gradual stepping towards meditation.
Yoga Sutra 1:2; yogas citta vrtti nirodhah” Yoga is not simply physical movement it is as this yoga sutra tells us, a state of stillness where the fluctuations of the mind become steady and clarity is present.
How do we cultivate the space to rest deeply?
Cultivating deep rest is about creating the conditions for rest to arise naturally. Finding the time and an environment that will help encourage one to rest beyond the surface of everyday life can be difficult sometimes. Using the attitude of Must Do, Should Do, Why Can’t I? and the like is the use of “force,” which is a mind game in and of itself. Understanding, patience, and compassion for our self encourages us to keep trying, to keep returning time, and time again to the practice. There is much to gain in learning to cultivate an attitude of non-judgement
How can we deal with our busy minds?
Let’s start by:
Noticing how busy our mind is, and how our thoughts are often repetitious in nature
Not believing every thought that pops into the mind to say hello.
Not over-identifying with our thoughts
Becoming aware of our thoughts without engaging in them. Gently learning how not to go on an adventure with them.
How do we begin?
Start simple.
Create/find a quiet, comfortable environment.
Find a place with fewer distractions, a quiet place, phones off, lights dimmed.
Create a routine, light a candle, warm tea, warm blanket or a special wrap, soft lighting.
Allowing yourself to be comfortable. Sitting crossed legged on the floor is not a necessity; a chair is perfectly fine.
What can we do to prepare for mindful rest?
Prepare your body with some gentle yoga, stretching, movement or find a safe place to lie in stillness.
Learn some safe breath practices, ones that slow breathing to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, and that do not cause a disturbance in your body, breath and mind.
Learn or practice relaxation or somatic techniques that allow you to gradually release the tension from the body.
Find a teacher who can assist is you.
How do we allow rest to present itself?
Rest cannot be “achieved.” It comes when you stop trying to get somewhere.
Practice noticing when you are using effort to rest and let yourself soften around that.
Cultivate understanding and resist the temptation to wrestle yourself into a deeper place of rest?
Utilise the analogy of letting thoughts come and go like clouds in the sky.
Use simple practices such as connecting to the breath or sound to bring your mind back to the present.
If emotions arise, let them, rest is not the absence of feeling, but the willingness to feel them safely. Learning how to build our tolerance of uncomfortable feelings is important as is also not becoming attached to the pleasurable that may arise.
Practice micro-moments of pause throughout the day and build on that.
AND REMEMBER
Deep rest is cultivated over time, it is like building a muscle.
Trust the process; trust that you know how to rest; you are simply remembering how to listen.